I officially received, then rejected, “funding”! October 22, 2009
Posted by Mike in : Funding, Mike , trackbackOn the 5th of October I signed the official papers to be part of the great state of Michigan’s golden child to help keep entrepreneurship strong in this state. They call this organization “SPARK“. Thee weeks later I fired them.
Who is SPARK? SPARK is intended as a way to ignite entrepreneurship in Michigan before Michigan bellies up and sinks into the great lakes. SPARK is backed by local home owner taxes and state funding. The basic concept is: They pay for local people to provide you services, like business plans, lawyers, etc., up to $25k.
They do not pay for something that is actually worthwhile, like computer programmers or paying the fee so that I can get trained on how to fill out SBIR grants that would bring in real funding.
Even though I just signed the “you now have funding” papers, I was accepted a long time ago. I started having problems when I could not get them to return phone calls about an item in my final papers. My contract stated I was required to take a “boot camp” class that costs $1,000. I went “WHAAT???”. This was supposed to be free! To me that’s an entrance fee. I tried for two weeks to get a simple yes or no answer on if I had to pay for the bootcamp, or could I substitute it (they originally said no). It was only when I wrote the “big” boss that they replied….”uh..yea, I guess you don’t have to pay that now…uh…maybe…”. And when I stopped by with the contract (I had an appointment) the building was locked up tight…twice in the same day! They went “Oops, sorry, we stepped out, what are the odds..haha”.
When people flip-flop that much and are that sloppy, your radar should go up, it might just be a scam. As my dad says, if it smells like a skunk and looks like a skunk, it might just be a skunk.
It also becomes a little discouraging when you’re eating Ramen Noodles and the “professionals” they suggest advise you on your business without knowing anything about it or your industry, get paid $100 to $200 per hour, and are long time friends of the people who picked them as your advisor. Do I hear nepotism?
Sometimes it’s best to cut bait and move on to better pastures. Time is the true gold and when you see yourself wasting it (and $1,000 apparently) it’s time to move on. I guess I’m insane since I’m the only one out of 70 companies to let them go. I’m sure those 70 companies will become Fortune 500 companies very soon.
So here is my letter to SPARK:
Subject: DatMap Corp asks if you ever saw Trump’s Apprentice
From: Mike Mack
Date: Sun, Oct 11, 2009 at 12:11 PM
Dear Sean,
I am respectfully firing SPARK.
No work has been performed, and as our contract states, once work begins, which I’m guessing will be 2011, I would have to repay it. That means I owe SPARK nothing.
I expect an official letter of cancellation effective immediately. Please mail to: DatMap Corp, (…) Ann Arbor, MI.
Why you may ask?…glad you did.
I have never met a more inept group of people in my life. The mere act of getting a simple YES or NO takes weeks. And the contradictions are ridiculous. If SPARK’S inabilities are any gauge of the skillsets available from the consultants they use, then my company will suffer. The only people I see benefiting from the “services” supplied are the out of work friends they hired. I wonder what the taxpayers and Gandholm would say if they knew there was an entrance fee called “BootCamp” for $1,000. How many brilliant ideas get excluded due to that one fact alone. And who pockets that.
And who is SPARK’s attorney. I thought Bozo died. One does not make people sign a contract to get legal services when they do not have the funds to pay for a lawyer to get that contract reviewed…LAWYERING 101.
I hope I offended everyone. As Grouch Marx could have said: “Please accept your firing. I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members”…so true Groucho…so true.
P.S. If any of SPARK’s “buddies” happen to pop-up with my ideas on their roster, I’ll sue SPARK like dragons from hell…have a nice day.
Mike, one pissed off entrepreneur.
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