I officially received, then rejected, “funding”! October 22, 2009
Posted by Mike in : Funding, Mike , add a commentOn the 5th of October I signed the official papers to be part of the great state of Michigan’s golden child to help keep entrepreneurship strong in this state. They call this organization “SPARK“. Thee weeks later I fired them.
Who is SPARK? SPARK is intended as a way to ignite entrepreneurship in Michigan before Michigan bellies up and sinks into the great lakes. SPARK is backed by local home owner taxes and state funding. The basic concept is: They pay for local people to provide you services, like business plans, lawyers, etc., up to $25k.
They do not pay for something that is actually worthwhile, like computer programmers or paying the fee so that I can get trained on how to fill out SBIR grants that would bring in real funding.
Even though I just signed the “you now have funding” papers, I was accepted a long time ago. I started having problems when I could not get them to return phone calls about an item in my final papers. My contract stated I was required to take a “boot camp” class that costs $1,000. I went “WHAAT???”. This was supposed to be free! To me that’s an entrance fee. I tried for two weeks to get a simple yes or no answer on if I had to pay for the bootcamp, or could I substitute it (they originally said no). It was only when I wrote the “big” boss that they replied….”uh..yea, I guess you don’t have to pay that now…uh…maybe…”. And when I stopped by with the contract (I had an appointment) the building was locked up tight…twice in the same day! They went “Oops, sorry, we stepped out, what are the odds..haha”.
When people flip-flop that much and are that sloppy, your radar should go up, it might just be a scam. As my dad says, if it smells like a skunk and looks like a skunk, it might just be a skunk.
It also becomes a little discouraging when you’re eating Ramen Noodles and the “professionals” they suggest advise you on your business without knowing anything about it or your industry, get paid $100 to $200 per hour, and are long time friends of the people who picked them as your advisor. Do I hear nepotism?
Sometimes it’s best to cut bait and move on to better pastures. Time is the true gold and when you see yourself wasting it (and $1,000 apparently) it’s time to move on. I guess I’m insane since I’m the only one out of 70 companies to let them go. I’m sure those 70 companies will become Fortune 500 companies very soon.
So here is my letter to SPARK:
Subject: DatMap Corp asks if you ever saw Trump’s Apprentice
From: Mike Mack
Date: Sun, Oct 11, 2009 at 12:11 PM
Dear Sean,
I am respectfully firing SPARK.
No work has been performed, and as our contract states, once work begins, which I’m guessing will be 2011, I would have to repay it. That means I owe SPARK nothing.
I expect an official letter of cancellation effective immediately. Please mail to: DatMap Corp, (…) Ann Arbor, MI.
Why you may ask?…glad you did.
I have never met a more inept group of people in my life. The mere act of getting a simple YES or NO takes weeks. And the contradictions are ridiculous. If SPARK’S inabilities are any gauge of the skillsets available from the consultants they use, then my company will suffer. The only people I see benefiting from the “services” supplied are the out of work friends they hired. I wonder what the taxpayers and Gandholm would say if they knew there was an entrance fee called “BootCamp” for $1,000. How many brilliant ideas get excluded due to that one fact alone. And who pockets that.
And who is SPARK’s attorney. I thought Bozo died. One does not make people sign a contract to get legal services when they do not have the funds to pay for a lawyer to get that contract reviewed…LAWYERING 101.
I hope I offended everyone. As Grouch Marx could have said: “Please accept your firing. I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members”…so true Groucho…so true.
P.S. If any of SPARK’s “buddies” happen to pop-up with my ideas on their roster, I’ll sue SPARK like dragons from hell…have a nice day.
Mike, one pissed off entrepreneur.
Why don’t we just get a job and shut up? October 20, 2009
Posted by Mike in : About, Entrepreneurship, Mike, Money, Opportunities , add a commentSince the economy tanked in Michigan, all the talent have taken their pink slips, packed up thier goods, and headed for the coasts. I’m guessing they figure if your going to be broke you might as well have an ocean and a viable city to be it in. Especially in the post Auto-Bust era the suburbs of Detroit have suffered through. Even I, in a panic, took a job at the University of Michigan as a temp. $18/hour. No bennies. No health. Cinder block walls, buzzing computers and four guys in a 12×12 cube they called the Bull Pen.
Definition of “Bull Pen”:
“A temporary holding area for prisoners, as in a courthouse.”
And oh yes…it was. The only sounds were the breathing of the other guys, and occasionally the breath of your “boss” over your shoulder as he is looking at what you’re doing and you jump out of your boots going “Jesus! Announce yourself. You almost gave me a stroke!”. That doesn’t go over well by the way.
The only advantage of a job is if you work for 2 quarters and accumulate enough paid time in total to make 1.5 times your highest month’s pay…which I did by 200 dollars…you can collect unemployment when they fire you. Which they did. Thank you. The lesson there was a “full time” job means you won’t have any time to do anything else. As my dad always said: “When you’re working for someone else, you’re just working for someone else”. All the promises in the world, or the hopes based on someone else’s whims or the strength of the market mean nothing. My sister worked for GM for 25 years, they let her go in 15 minutes with a pocket sized kleenex (which they asked for back if she didn’t need them) and that was it. No pension. No retirement. So tell me there is security in anything, even life. You take life and make life.
Getting a job? No. We have reduced all expenses to bare minimum. Survival living. Time is the gold, not money. Living lean means eating healthier, working out, sleeping when needed versus in your cube having to explain its your lunch hour and wanting to say go fuck off instead. I picked Fuck off.
We made our first money! October 13, 2009
Posted by Mike in : Mike, Money, Rio , 1 comment so farRio made 27 cents.
In frustration as we boiled over at fever pitch trying to run 6 or 7 ideas, (see the post on quitting) Rio spent $1,000 on her credit card and took off to LA in the hopes of relieving some stress. During that waste of time, she stole 27 cents off of this guy’s desk.
This totally counts towards our 1 million.
She came back, shrugged her shoulders and is back at this game again.
The moral is, push though the pains, learn from mistakes, and don’t quit. If you do quit, yet still come back and try again, then that makes you an entrepreneur.
P.S. I figure tit for tat, so I stole the 27 cents from her and am going to put it in a little frame that will read:
“I am now officially an entrepreneur!”
Good job Rio! Someone had to make a buck.
Who are these f*in people and why isn’t everyone an entrepreneur? October 10, 2009
Posted by Mike in : Entrepreneurship, Mike, People , add a commentEntrepreneurship is pain. Hard pain.
People snap. They dump it all, they go to Hollywood to discover themselves, they get a job, they become a bum or go to grad school.
It’s why no one does it, its why morons can become rich just cause they tried longer.
It’s why people are drawn to positions or titles of empowerment. CEO, Doctor, PHD. We feel they found the secret. We want to be close to it. Absorb it. Learn by it. More often than not its nothing but a well constructed veil of attitude, arrogance and false self entitlement.
I went to a Entrepreneur meeting, the purpose to bring investors and inventors together. 40 inventors. 1 investor.
The inventors all danced in front of the camera, the investor sat in the rear with arms crossed, look of old time wisdom across his face. The look of blue bloods judging a prize horse. All was needed was a pipe and a “pip pip bravo” coming out his mouth.
Turns out the investor was a retired businessman with a need for power but no means to attain it. He’d been around for years, so the organizers snapped him up to be their one investor. Even 40 inventors, dorky as they were, might not buy “This show will be seen by thousands of investors on the Internet!”.
And the drudgery of going to all this stuff. Meetings and consultants cramming business cards in your hand going “I got what you need! I can fix all your problems!”. Why not ask me if I need anything at all!.
The out of work consultants are the worse. I went to a chamber of commerce lunch meeting…my last. Sat at whats called “The round table”…just round tables that people sit at. Some speech by the president of the chamber on why were so much better than New York..blah blah blah.
When we did the “round table” speech and introduced ourselves, I said what I did and 9 cards flew at me.
I thought I was in some trick magic show where the goal was “who can slide the card the fastest and make it appear on top of the others before the others do”.
I’m like…uh…no…I can’t afford 2 lawyers, 3 business consultants, 1 accountant, and a weekend clown for children’s birthdays…pony included.
The reasons this happens is I supply a product. They support the product. Like vultures on carrion…Kaww…Kaww…moneeeyyyyyyy!!
My suggestion, lie. Say your a window washer…a bad one. Broke your arm once falling 2 feet up off a basement window. They will stare at you…blink…then look at the next guy and lick their lips.
This is one reason why people give up. It’s why they quit. No ones clean. Can’t tell who from what.
It’s easier to sit in a cube, sip a latte, tap on a key or two, look at the clock. Once or twice a day have your boss come over and shove a list at you saying. Do this, do that. You got what I need yet. You lie, perhaps have it ready, perhaps shit yourself. But then the bell rings and you go home. No meetings to attend. No pocket full of white hard little cards screaming “Do you remember me!! I was that guy with the suit, I was that girl in the hat with the pin”.
The world is filled with morons my friends. Two bit Presidents. Two bit PHD’s. Two bit Doctors. All passing themselves off as the truth, the real deal. They wear it well. They push it hard, yet might not appear pushy.
Seeing past them is no easy trick. So be wary. If your gonna work with these people, you have to gain a thick skin till you meet one of them who’s worth their weight.
Dark I know. But sometimes this game just feels dark.
What is love? October 7, 2009
Posted by Mike in : Mike, Motivation , 1 comment so farIt hits us all. They write reams of poetry on it. It’s used as an identifier of the ephemeral quality on things as diverse as soap to space walks. Is it the quality of something? You love your work. You love your mate. But what is that. In the book “Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance“, the author tried to unravel that mystery.
His motorcycle broke in the middle of nowhere. He needed a piece of metal welded. The only place in town was some tooth less guy who said it cost 5 bucks. He’s freaking out. “This guy is gonna work on my baby. No way!”. But limited choices and limited time make him hand it over as he heads out for a shaky cup of coffee. Upon return, the guy hands him the metal bracket and goes “5 bucks”. He looks down…and to his amazement…its the most beautiful weld he has ever seen. No rims. No lips. Rainbow smooth irridesence. He said “Jesus! Here is fifty! That would cost $200 in new york! “. The guy gives him back $45, says “5 bucks” and closes the door. What was that?!. Our traveler loved the weld. He loved the quality. But he contemplates this and comes to the realization that you can’t define quality. Put similar items side by side and most people can point to the one that is better. How do they know?
I challenge you to try it with a friend or two. You will only list things. Like this cap is tighter. That one has a cute bulb. Her hair is darker. Love and quality. We use them daily for people and for things. They define our work lives and our private lives. Yet they are not quanitfiable. So where do you put your passions. What do you love to do. And how do you define that. That is the challenge, and its my challenge as well. Pursue it, and there might just be a million bucks at the end of the road…unless your god damned set on $5.
An opportunity!? October 4, 2009
Posted by Mike in : Mike, Opportunities , add a commentI just had one walk up and sit down. In my ignorance I ignored the opportunity that was slapping me in the face and continued to prattle on about nothing. It was only when Jesse said…”our web site sucks” that I went “huh??”. Here is what happened. Jesse, the pianist from the MacPodz 
comes over and shows me two new articles from music magazines…and I was like cool…they are getting exposure. So he’s still chatting me up and I’m like…okay…whaz he still doing here. I’m not that cute and I know he’s straight.
So when Jesse said “Mike what do you do again with computers”, and I give him the spiel, and he has to reply “WE NEED A WEB DESIGNER!“, that I pull my head out of my ass and go “OH!!…so whatcha lookin for?”. Turns out their old designer “passed away” and understanding that any programmer is emotionally on the edge anyway so I’m only slightly surprised when I learned it was due to “Suicide”. Makes sense. I carry two virtual guns with me all the time and occasionally, just occasionally, I pull them out, put them to my head and go “Pkeewwwww! Pkewwwww!”. But I digress.
So how does one handle this opportunity? I said without batting an eye: “I’ll do it for free”. So why Free vs. something? It’s called penny economics. There is a great article by Chris Anderson at Wired Magazine “Free! Why $0.00 Is the Future of Business” that discusses the second you charge 1 cent for an item, you are in a completely different business model.
Free affords one flexibility and freedom, especially when you are unsure of the payoff, which in this case will be exposure for me. “PR” is worth more than any cash that I could charge for the web development. So for the MacPodz, I sent Jese off to go get a consensus on the design of their website, and if he returns, I can look at what he has and tell him if I can do it or not. If not, no skin off my nose and I’ll point them in the right direction. If I can, I’ll pick a time limit to finish it and that includes a “frustration” factor…for if that puppy is high…I’m out.
But this post is about spotting opportunities. I believe the answer is in what is called Socratic Questioning. I learned it when I took a course in sales training at the Sandler Sales Institute. Basically, instead of popping your mouth open and spewing forth what you think they need and how you can help them, you step back and ask “What do you need?”, “What is wrong with your website now?”, and let them tell you. Common sense I know, but like that rule of “no crossing railroad tracks when the lights are flashing”, people do it all the time.
When you see the eyes of the listener staring blankly at you and their lips aren’t moving, just stop with whatever your saying and say: “Sorry I’m prattling on…did you have something in mind?” That one question will open a dialog were a great opportunity may be hiding.
What day is it?? October 3, 2009
Posted by Mike in : Entrepreneurship, Mike , 1 comment so farI have no clue anymore. One thing about being an “entrepreneur”…or “unemployed”…same thing, is that you have no idea what day it is. Its Saturday night at 10:30. Might as well be Tuesday at noon.
A few weeks ago I was talking to Rio about getting to some store/bank/somewhere, and she goes “You can’t”. I ask why. She says “because its Saturday”. I laughed … cause it was Thursday.
You know you’re in the mix and moving forward when time is irrelevant, especially when it’s Saturday night and you’re not spending the time on a drinking binge.
So when you do this and find yourself looking around going “Why are there so many people? Is something going on?”…it might just be Sunday.
INFORMATION OVERLOAD October 1, 2009
Posted by Mike in : Mike, Motivation, Resources , 1 comment so farInformation overload. Hits me every day. I don’t mean the newspaper stuff. I mean the ToDo lists. Not that the lists are long, I’ve already spent all week whittling them down to five. It’s the amount of crap I find out for each item as I try to tackle it.
For example, on web developer stuff: “Make a web page center in the browser”. I do a web search on that, 32,000 hits. The second one looks perfect. I open it up and its some tech blog with 20 people suggesting the perfect way to do it with links. I soon have 80 tiny tabs crammed in so tight I can’t tell what they are. So now I have to go through them all and repeat the prior process till I have 13 browsers open with 200 “related” articles and soon I’m off analyzing how giraffes can center themselves in their sleep from zoology today and six hours of my life have passed.
So what do I do? I procrastinate more. It’s a nice little circle that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I read all the GTD (Getting Things Done) stuff like Steve Allen’s book “Ready for anything”:…practiced them as well…it made me so happy to only have 4 categories of ToDo and spend all night moving them between the boxes.
I have found that the only thing that works for me is a timer. Here is a free browser based one that I created (stole) that can be used anywhere just to remind you to get up and take a break. http://www.2people1year1million.com/timer.html.
New studies have shown that the top performers from CEOs to Athletes treat their brain like a muscle. About every 90 minutes they take a 10 minute break that enables them to handle periods of high stress so they can pull off that all-nighter or just produce more in less time. The bonus is after every break you see where you’re at and can get back on track.
P.S. On the bright side I did discover a gem or two in those long lists of articles. I think its hard to find good references because those who know what their doing don’t waste their time answering blog posts, which of course I’ll do if anyone wants to post me a question.
Two misfits blog about their attempt to make 1 million dollars in 1 year as entrepreneurs. October 1, 2009
Posted by Rio in : About, Mike, Rio , 1 comment so farThe story so far: Two unlikely allies, starting with only a few dozen half-baked ideas, have set a goal to earn a million dollars in one year. In this economy, the world needs more people like us. People who make their own way. Implementors of ideas, capitalistic adventurers. But we have limited experience and maybe $275 between us in our bank accounts. Call us naive. But we hustle. Question is, do we have what it takes to combine our abilities, create a viable business, and make something of ourselves?
Here are the characters:
Mike, 48, recently divorced and very broke. Part mad computer-scientist, part Vinnie Barbarino. People call him hard-edged but also hilarious in a quirky way. Likes riding motor scooters, using obscene language and occasionally, just occasionally, wearing a studded collar.
Rio, 22, born in Arizona and raised in Stuttgart, Germany, has a shiny new degree in Economics. Part scientist, part artist, she’s beautiful, fearless, and has a wit as sharp as her tongue. Give her an idea and a computer and she’s as dangerous as Lara Croft on a jet ski.
So here we are. We’re the first to admit that we make the most unlikely pair, but we do generate some great ideas. What we have learned so far is nothing like it’s been described in business schools, books, or self help manuals. We’re starting afresh, throwing all we have into taking our ideas and going somewhere as entrepreneurs. Join us as we document our follies, failures, and successes in the hope that our experiences can make you laugh, learn, dream and create something wonderful of your own.