iPhone rejects our apps deeming inappropriate March 4, 2010
Posted by Mike in : Mike, Products , add a commentWell we got some iPhone apps out. Apple fucked us around a bit over “graphic images of a woman in a tight shirt” for our Insultiple Apps. Or as they said: “We’ve reviewed your application and determined that we cannot post this version of your iPhone application to the App Store because it contains objectionable content”. Nice Apple.
We resubmitted with said “PORN” removed and they accepted it after days of review…I’m sure they had to masturbate to it several times once they took their halo’s off.
They also rejected our “Tourettes with Audio” swearing app even though it was classified in the Adult over 18 group.
We are resubmitting this one as well, but with it toned down…we removed all the swear words one finds in Webster’s dictionary…cause I guess Webster does not actually undertand english and it’s just a pulp document of no real value.
The good news is we pulled out 3 more apps from the rejected swearing one. We made a PG version to follow the toned down swearing one and are co-branding the “Tourettes” as “Swearing with Audio” to find out which name people like, or dislike, more. It might do well in that there are over 7 million word combinations with my voice hollarin the words at you.
So it appears we have figured out what makes Apple tick, kinda up the the reviewer and what they deem appropriate and once the App is released they forget about it. Which is funny because our “Insultiple Deluxe” has the items that were rejected in our cheaper product. So if you want to see a shot of Salma Hayek in a t-shirt…a whopping 25 x 25 pixel image…spend $1 more and you can start your own porn site!
Found a way to make money!!! in 45 days…part 1 – iPhone app. November 5, 2009
Posted by Mike in : Mike, Products, Rio , 1 comment so farAfter spending how much time, I have no clue, on a multitude of projects in an attempt to make money. Two projects stood out from the rest. I’ll discuss the second one in a follow-up post.
First was an iPhone app. Now I know nothing about iPhone development so I had to start from scratch about 2 weeks ago. The idea came when I was sitting with a friend who has an online business. He was talking how he’d like to monetize (fyi I hate that word because it sounds contrived and corporate (ptewiee) even though I use all the time) his business into products. I went well how about this, he said how about that, and in 15 minutes we had a simple iPhone app designed and drawn in my Moleskine. (fyi I also hated Moleskines due to the “I am a writer and artist and am super cool” factor. Turns out I’m a moron, they are great.) So he knows I do web programming and have done PC programming…or I attempt it at least…so it was off and running. We are going to split the revenue from the applications (there are three, same design, different target markets). I will do the coding. He will supply the content and the distribution through his current networks. No clue on what the price will be yet.
So where to start? (Here is a post of the steps involved) Apple brilliantly requires you to have a MAC to write an iPhone app. I have none. Luckily the guy I’m writing these for lent me his spare. Yes I know…a spare MAC notebook!…money is great ain’t it. So here I am, downloaded the 1+ gig iPhone SDK (“Developers Kit”…I have no clue what the “S” stands for) and went to the University of Michigan’s “fishbowl” do use the school’s O’Reilly’s Safari Books online to find the perfect manual on how to use this convoluted software language. There are over 3,000 online books to choose from mostly related to technology. Turns out the best book was like reading the history of scatology from Neanderthal Cave Droppings to post-modern Medical scat testing for influenza…actually that would be a hell of a lot more interesting.
The solution to this head nodding self torture came from none other than a short email from Alessandra. “Lynda.com now offers iPhone Development Application courses”. She has a subscription for her photo shop skills, been telling me how amazing “seeing” the work is versus reading about it. I went “yea yea…I’m a book guy”. BUT NO MORE! What I did not realize is that iPhone development, actually all design, is visual. Also most books edit out the mistakes they make on the way to writing the books. These mistakes however are invaluable to know about for when you program you will make those mistakes yourself. So I’m about half way through the total 6 hours instructions. Each hour instruction is cut up into short 2-11 min vids (I like how Alex from Clockwork Orange always said “vids”).
So Lynda shows you how to make a simple app in a day or two. It still is very confusing since its based on this NS language from 20 years ago, basically the “C” language…that is soooo not my bag, but they explain it well and I’m getting it pretty quick, so it’s doable. If your interested in doing this, I tell everyone who wants to get into programming: If you can read that 10 page manual that comes with your pc without falling asleep, its one of the first things you do when you get your computer, and when your done you say “cool!”…you can program.
And why 45 days? Alessandra said “AGHHHH!!!! I can’t take this anymore. We need a definable goal. Let’s make December 15th a short term deadline for something! I want to get the hell out of here, move to New York, anything, let’s get something happening by then!”. She’s talking about getting out of Ann Arbor, she’s been here 4 years doing undergrad and did not expect to still be here. If you talk to anyone from Ann Arbor, we all say the same thing…it’s like some psycho trap from the Twilight Zone, right when you get ready to go, you end up staying. So I say fuck it, why not. Just have to cull out the extraneous shit. So in 45 days I plan on ripping through this iPhone stuff, I have tossed out all the other bullshit projects we have been working on independently and together (though she has a cool www.Scholarships-for-school.com that is generating a tiny bit of Advertising revenue. I helped create the site.) So iPhone it is for me, never thought I’d do it but here I am.
Also on iPhone development: there is a good classroom series from Stanford iPhone Develpment that total 28 hours from iTunes videos. Very informative and actually very in-depth, but too slow for me right now.
And one more side note: Alessandra has her own iPhone app coming out in a few weeks for her business www.Saagara.com. Figure this might get her to blog about it since when one of us blogs, the other wants to. We’ve been lax for 2 weeks now and haven’t discussed our products at all. Her app is pretty cool app and should contribute to the Million…at least $4 bucks from the one I’m sure her mom will buy. I hope my mom buys my app, though an iPhone to her is a phone with an eyeball on it.