Flat Broke but Filthy Rich February 10, 2010
Posted by Mike in : Mike , add a commentMoney Money Money…where for art thou.
Seems its the mantra of us all. Even the bum on the street with the outstretched hand has to have a bit of it to keep whatever keeps him going, going. I have sympathy for him, I’ve been there. The only difference between the two of us is I have a greater change of making it out of the dark isolated corners of hell and back into the light. 
The bum who asked for money for the 9,354th time made me reflect on the odd psychological monetary dichotomy I’m in. I just released three iPhone applications to Apple for review.
I feel absolutely rich yet my pockets are lined with lint and copper. It’s very strange having no capital but creating items that can make tons of it. I’m living in the in-between place.
I’m walking with the air of an aristocrat who is on sabbatical dressed as a transient to divert attention from himself but he can’t hide his lineage and gets called out anyway. That’s happening to me. I must have “crossed over” somewhere this month past the tipping point of who I was to what I will be.
It’s an aphrodisiac to women I’ve noticed as well. It amazes me how a mental state can alter the perceptions of others. I don’t think this is a place one can “think” themselves into. I think it is a spot that one has to make.
This post is only here to segue into a discussion of the iPhone applications that were just released so I’ll end with:
Money money money…its all on my tree. The only issue is…they haven’t given it to me.
Money Management 101 November 5, 2009
Posted by Rio in : Money, Resources, Rio , add a commentOk, kids. It’s time to learn how to manage your money! Besides not buying stuff, what can you do to save money?
Some of the more interesting things I’ve done to make myself spend less include cutting up my credit cards only to realize I had no way to pay for groceries, and then paying for my $10 pizza entirely in pennies (the ones I had in my change jar). Other things include never carrying cash or credit cards, and then going to the bank and asking the teller to withdraw $3 from my account so that I could pay for this event I really needed to go to.
Other great psychological tricks include asking a friend to hide my credit cards. He then leaves for a week and is out of touch, during which time I really needed to pay for something or other. My $2.75 stash of laundry quarters wasn’t going to cut it, so I resorted to one of my other favorite tricks: becoming a guinea pig for science! Thinking that donating my eggs was probably too drastic, I decided to volunteer for a research study that would involve, among other things, not brushing my teeth for three weeks. What happened to my social life, you might wonder? To hell with that, they were giving me $500! Besides, think of all the time I could save by not spending those 3.5 minutes brushing my teeth twice a day! I’m a busy entrepreneur, after all. I have things to do!
Instead of cutting up my credit cards, I had the better idea of simply never carrying cash or credit cards when I go places. I know, I know, what a crude method. But hey, it kind of works. I end up not making all those dicky little purchases like tea and books (I love tea, and I’ve probably single-handedly kept Borders Bookstore here in Ann Arbor from closing).
Sometimes the whole “not carrying any money” things has its problems. Like when I do actually have to pay for stuff. At the post office for example, where I went last to send off 15 packages containing things I had sold on ebay (more on that later). Only after I made the lady ring through and attach stickers to my 15 boxes did I reveal to her that I wanted to pay by check. She informed me that they couldn’t accept my check because I didn’t have my address on them (hey, identity theft, you know). I tell her I would write my address on the check for her. She goes: “um, No.” I point out the 15 boxes she had already stickered and put through the system, and would have to painfully remove if she didn’t accept my check. She caved. Sometimes you have to be cruel. The moral? I have no idea.
Not bringing your credit card does help, sort of. All those little purchases really do add up. Especially when you don’t always have time to cook. Now I love cooking good, healthy, homemade food, but….well, I’m slow. It takes me like an hour to make oatmeal (granted, my oatmeal is really fucking good.) Anyway, housewives get my respect. Cooking three meals a day from scratch is hard work. But anyway, there are times when I’ve managed to eat only home cooked meals for months on end, but that involved significant luggage. Meaning, if you don’t have a car and don’t live 5 minutes away from town, you have to haul all three meals with you for the day. Now that’s fun. Not only do you get your requisite workout in from hauling 50 lbs of stuff everywhere you go (really, I weighed it), but you end up being skinnier by eating less overall! (Damn you, rocky mountain chocolate factory, for being on my way to town).
Back to being a guinea pig. After prodding my teeth and cruelly stabbing me with various sharp metal instruments, my graduate student dentist friend tells me that I qualify for the $500 study. I would have thanked her, but my mouth was spewing blood. I wasn’t complaining though. You have to be tough in this world. Another favorite research study of mine was a series of “decision-making” studies that I participated in through the University of Michigan. Basically, they put you through a series of prisoner’s dilemmas to see how everyone interacts. I love this kind of stuff, being an economics major and all, but the real upshot was that we got to keep whatever money we made during the game! I once walked away with $57 after 5 minutes. (By defecting, of course). But the truly greatest study I took part in was one where I watched an episode of Sex and the City and then answered a questionnaire grilling me on my body image. I told them all about how skinny I felt, of course. Especially since I’ve been eating all these home-cooked meals!
Eventually I quit doing $15 an hour research studies because…well, let’s face it, we’re never gonna make a million dollars that way. Hopefully we’ll have bigger fish to fry, and better ways to spend our time (like being self-employed and all that fun stuff). I am going to add the $500 to our “money made so far” icon up there on the right, though. So that leaves us with our last idea: selling shit on ebay. Being a neat freak and all, I like to cleanse my room occasionally and get rid of the stuff I don’t need/use. The thing is, it turns out you can actually make money doing this. Old textbooks I’ve never used or wanted to, weird electrical appliances from the 80s, and those shoes I never should have bought because they are really fucking uncomfortable. Unfortunately, it turns out to be a lot of work selling stuff on ebay, and like getting a job, the opportunity cost is too high (I’ve talked about that already). Time is my most valuable asset right now.
So, besides being made fun of by your friends and having no social life whatsoever, my methods should put you on the right path towards dominating your finances! I’m Here To Serve You, America’s next generation, and to help this great country get out of debt. Remember that the next time you wait in line for 30 minutes at the bank only to have the person in front of you withdraw a total of $3 from their account. That person is probably one of my disciples. World domination, here I come.
We made our first money! October 13, 2009
Posted by Mike in : Mike, Money, Rio , 1 comment so farRio made 27 cents.
In frustration as we boiled over at fever pitch trying to run 6 or 7 ideas, (see the post on quitting) Rio spent $1,000 on her credit card and took off to LA in the hopes of relieving some stress. During that waste of time, she stole 27 cents off of this guy’s desk.
This totally counts towards our 1 million.
She came back, shrugged her shoulders and is back at this game again.
The moral is, push though the pains, learn from mistakes, and don’t quit. If you do quit, yet still come back and try again, then that makes you an entrepreneur.
P.S. I figure tit for tat, so I stole the 27 cents from her and am going to put it in a little frame that will read:
“I am now officially an entrepreneur!”
Good job Rio! Someone had to make a buck.